The Weight of Words (The WORDS Series) Read online

  “Maybe you need some practice. You can do my toes tomorrow,” I said with a smile.

  “Wow, that sounds like a blast,” he deadpanned.

  I handed him a menu, my tummy rumbling. “We should figure out what we’re going to eat.”

  We scanned our menus. The prices were outrageous.

  “Sweet Jesus.” Matt whistled between his teeth, looking up over his menu, a dazed expression on his face.

  “I know! Expensive, huh?”

  “No, it’s not that. Check it out, heading to that table on the other side of the room by the windows. That is one fine-looking woman.”

  I looked into the strip of mirrors along the wall over Matt’s shoulder where I could see the tables on the other side of the restaurant. Handy way to spy on people.

  I had to agree with him. She was gorgeous. Tall and curvy in all the right places, her ebony hair cascaded down her back in waves. Her dress was stunning—all black and incredibly close fitting with a slit up one leg that reached dangerously high up her thigh. She was the kind of woman the term “femme fatale” had been invented for. Geoffrey pulled her chair out for her, and then proceeded to help her with her napkin. They were smiling and chatting. Probably a socialite who dines here often. I looked back at Matt.

  “Easy there, cowboy. Put your tongue back in your mouth.”

  She was sitting facing us, and I could easily imagine him getting caught ogling.

  “Shit, sorry, Aubs, I’ve just never seen…”

  He trailed off, still gazing at her in admiration. I looked down at my menu.

  “Well, this is romantic,” I said.

  “Sorry.” Matt cleared his throat. “You’re right. My bad. Where were we?”

  “Well, I don’t know about you, but I’m checking out these appetizers. They look phenomenal.”

  “The entrées look impressive too.” Matt flipped back and forth between the pages.

  “Hmm, maybe I’ll have an entrée and dessert. They have crème brulée,” I said, my mouth watering. I snapped my menu closed. “Okay, I know what I’m having.”

  “Yep, me too,” Matt said. “Gotta do the prime rib.”

  He flipped his menu shut, and I looked around for Raymond, hoping to catch his eye. It was in that precise moment that the earth, which had previously been spinning quite nicely on its axis, came to a screeching halt.

  Daniel.

  He was here.

  He was walking toward a table on the opposite side of the room.

  The raven-haired beauty was standing up, throwing her arms around him and hugging him.

  He was kissing her on both cheeks.

  He was holding her chair out for her.

  They were sitting down at the table.

  Together.

  Together together.

  My heart fell into the pit of my stomach as I came to a swift and painful realization: This woman, this other-worldly beauty who’d just sent Matt into paroxysms of desire—this was Daniel’s “love.”

  His Valentine’s date.

  Penny.

  Chapter 11

  The Green-Eyed Monster

  O, beware, my lord, of jealousy;

  It is the green-eyed monster which doth mock

  The meat it feeds on…

  (Othello, Act III, Scene 3)

  BILE ROSE IN MY THROAT and my stomach knotted with jealously. I wanted to stand up and throw a bread roll at Penny’s head. This was not a reasonable option. Doing so would likely put a teensy damper on our lovely dinner. And so I sat, seething in quiet desperation until Matt’s insistent voice interrupted my vitriolic inner monologue.

  “Aubrey? Yes or no? Hello?” He snapped his fingers in front of my eyes.

  “Huh?”

  Numbness was spreading across my face.

  “Wine. Did you want to get a bottle of wine? There’s a Pinot Gris called Burning Owl they’re recommending here on the wine list. It’s from B.C., so it’s gotta be good,” he said with a superior grin. “A little expensive, but I think that’s to be expected tonight.”

  “Oh, yeah, sure,” I said. “Whatever you want is fine with me.”

  It took supreme effort to maintain eye contact with Matt.

  “Okay,” he said hesitantly. “That was easy.”

  I picked up my drink and knocked back what was left in the glass. The vodka burned my throat, soothing me as its warmth spread through my chest. When Raymond reappeared, Matt quickly ordered the prime rib and I requested the Ahi tuna, suddenly feeling as if I might be incapable of chewing and swallowing meat. My throat constricted and my mouth felt dry. I took several large gulps of water while Matt took care of ordering the wine.

  “Hey, Aubs, are you okay? You’re a little pale. Are you feeling sick again?”

  My eyes flickered over his shoulder briefly to look in the mirror. All I could see was the back of Daniel’s head.

  Move along, Aubrey, nothing to see here.

  “Actually, I am feeling a little odd. I’m gonna head to the washroom for a minute, okay?”

  I stood up, dropping my napkin on the table. Matt looked up at me worriedly.

  “Do you want me to grab a waitress to go in with you?” he asked.

  “No, it’s okay, Matt. I need to splash some water on my face, that’s all,” I assured him.

  And pierce that bitch’s eyeball with the heel of my stiletto. No worries. All in a day’s work.

  I hurried off to the washroom, feeling Matt’s eyes following me. Safely away from his scrutiny, I sat on the leather sofa in the outer room which adjoined the washroom area, breathing deeply through my nose. Once the pounding of my heart had settled, I made my way to the sinks, gritting my teeth as I ran my hands under the cold water.

  I needed to pull myself together. Really, what was the big deal? I’d known since the first day I’d met him that Daniel had a girlfriend. Nevertheless, now that I’d seen her for myself in all her stunning, voluptuous glory, the reality of his unavailability was crushing. I could not compete with that.

  I sighed and leaned against the counter, enjoying the solitude. The peace and quiet was not to last, however. Someone with a lively voice burst through the door, interrupting my tranquil moment. I turned to look at the person who was talking so animatedly, and there in front of me was the woman who was single-handedly dashing my hopes. Penny. She was talking into a cell phone in a strong—and might I reluctantly add, very charming—English accent. She dropped onto the sofa I’d vacated.

  “No, that’s okay. I left Daniel at the table,” she said to the person on the other end of the line. “I’m in the loo now, which is bigger than my mum and dad’s front room at home, by the way.” She ran her hand over the soft leather of the sofa as she listened. “What’s that? Oh, absolutely, it’s been hard. He’s so busy, working all the time. He’s knackered constantly…Oh, I know, it’ll all be over soon. Once we’re married, he said he’ll try to cut back. Can you believe in six months I’ll be Mrs. Penny Grant? I’m so bloody excited I can barely stand it.”

  Married? They were to be married in six months? She wasn’t his girlfriend—she was his fiancée! I looked grimly into the mirror, my heart shriveling in my chest. Could it get any worse?

  I weighed my options.

  Shoe to the eyeball?

  If I did it quickly, I could make a speedy exit, grab Matt, and jump in a cab. No one would be the wiser. I was being ridiculous, of course, but it was tempting. Penny was winding up her conversation, and I splashed around in the sink, trying to cover up my eavesdropping.

  “Anyway, this is costing you a fortune. I should ring off,” she said. “Give everyone my love, won’t you? I’ll drop you an email next week. Yes, of course I will…Cheers, Ronnie. Bye now.”

  She rose and joined me at the sinks, opening her purse. She removed a bottle of expensive perfume and sprayed herself liberally. I tried to busy myself with my purse too, rooting around for my lip gloss, but before I could apply any, her perfume went right up my nose. I sneezed se
veral times.

  “Oh, Jesus, sorry. That was bloody rude of me. Are you allergic?” she asked.

  Don’t be nice to me, you bitch. I’m trying to hate you.

  “No, I’m not allergic. Not used to such strong perfume, I guess.”

  “Oh, I know. My fiancé bought this for me.” She gestured to the bottle. “I think he reckoned I’d love it because it’s so expensive. I wear it for him more than for myself,” she said.

  My eye was drawn to the giant diamond on her hand. That, too, looked to be expensive.

  God, don’t look, Aubrey. And while you’re at it, ignore her fabulous boobs. Seriously. You don’t want to look.

  I stared at her blankly, at a loss for what to say and incapable of maintaining the charade a moment longer. She looked back at me uncomfortably.

  “Well, listen to me rabbiting on at you,” she said. “Sorry about that. I’m new in town, and don’t have many girls to chat with. I tend to latch on to any friendly face I see these days. Sad, really.”

  Friendly face? Was she on crack?

  I ignored her apology. “If you’ll excuse me, I should get back to my date.”

  “Of course, love, don’t let me keep you.” She turned back to the mirror to reapply her lipstick. As I pulled the door open she called after me, “Oh, and happy Valentine’s Day!”

  Oh, you too, Penny. Have fun steamrolling my heart, you bitch!

  I zipped up my clutch as I walked through the restaurant. Matt was scrolling through messages on his phone. When I reached the table, he put the phone away and stood up to hold the chair out for me.

  “I was starting to get worried. You were in there for ages.”

  “Yeah, I needed a minute. I feel a lot better now, though,” I said.

  Lies. All lies.

  The wine had arrived in my absence. A full glass was in front of me.

  “How about a toast?” Matt said, lifting his wine.

  “Allow me,” I offered, trying my best to sound convincing. “Here’s to putting the past to rest and focusing on new beginnings.”

  “I’ll drink to that.” He smiled warmly at me.

  I moaned appreciatively as I took a large swallow of wine, thinking, I’ll drink to anything right about now…

  “Mmm, that is good.” I licked my lips.

  “At that price, it better be,” Matt said with a chuckle.

  Then his eyes drifted over my shoulder. In the mirror, I could see Penny returning to their table. Again, Matt was entranced. I watched Daniel stand and pull her chair out.

  “Hey, isn’t that—? Yeah, it is! That’s your TA guy from last night. He’s her date,” he said, his eyes wide.

  I feigned confusion. “What’s that?” I glanced over my shoulder, as if noticing him for the first time. “Well, so it is. That’s a coincidence, huh?”

  “Lucky bastard,” Matt muttered.

  Lucky bitch, I thought.

  “He must have some coin,” Matt said. “That’s one hell of a nice suit.”

  Matt was right. With his beautifully cut suit and the pale blue shirt open at the neck, Daniel looked impossibly hot. And lo and behold, he’d shaved and brushed his hair. Even from this distance, I could tell that when he shaved, his jawline was even more chiseled.

  It occurred to me that not only did he have a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde thing going on with his behavior, but he was also sporting a similar split personality with his appearance. At school, TA Daniel looked like something the cat had dragged in, whereas in his private life he could double as a male runway model.

  I decided to rename him. Henceforth, he would be Dr. Hobo, the shabbily dressed and hygienically challenged doctoral candidate who morphed into Mr. GQ when the sun went down. Either way, he was gorgeous. He’d probably be hot as hell wearing a potato sack, but this get-up? This was staggering.

  Matt was swishing his wine around in his glass.

  “You okay?” I asked.

  “Yeah,” he said with a tight smile. “Thinking.”

  Oh, believe me, dude, I know.

  We drank our wine in companionable silence for a while, and though I tried not to, I glanced occasionally in the mirror at Daniel and Penny. They were laughing and having a grand old time. At one point, Daniel took her left hand in his and rubbed his thumb across the ring on her finger. The hardened pebble that had taken the place of my heart cracked in two.

  Luckily our entrées arrived a few moments later, and I tried to focus on my dinner. The plates were works of art. There was a reason the meals were forty dollars a pop. I hoped the other reason had to do with the taste. Raymond refilled our wine, asked if there was anything we needed, and when we said we were fine he moved on.

  My meal cheered me up somewhat. The tuna was exquisite. I assumed Matt’s food was the same. He closed his eyes as he chewed, looking like he’d been transported to heaven.

  “You have to try this,” he said, cutting off a slice of his prime rib. He held his fork over to me and—I don’t know why I did it—I gazed into his eyes, reached over to hold his hand in place, and seductively tugged the meat off the fork with my teeth, licking my lips slowly afterward.

  Stunned, Matt watched my mouth as I chewed.

  “Wanna try mine?” I asked, gazing up at him from under my lashes.

  “Um, well, yeah, sure,” he stammered.

  I cut off a piece of tuna and leaned forward, holding out my fork. He mimicked my gesture, holding my hand while he took the tuna from the fork.

  “Good, huh?” I asked.

  “Incredible,” he said, looking at me in wonder.

  I smiled brilliantly and finished my second glass of wine.

  “Want some more?” Matt held up the wine bottle.

  “Absolutely.” I stretched my leg out under the table and slipped the toe of my stiletto under the cuff of his pant leg.

  The combination of wine-buzz and heartbreak was doing strange things to me, but Matt seemed to be enjoying it. He smiled and shook his head, continuing to eat zealously. About halfway through my meal, I pushed my plate aside and turned my attention to my wine glass, a warm glow enveloping me as I continued to drink. I picked up the bottle. There was a tiny splash left.

  “Go ahead,” Matt urged.

  I emptied it into my glass and continued to sip at it while Matt finished his meal. Raymond walked by, and Matt stopped him to ask for some more water. “I have a feeling I’m going to need this,” he said, gesturing to his water glass as he poured his remaining wine into my glass.

  “Matt, are you trying to get me drunk?” I asked.

  “Possibly,” he said, smiling and raising one eyebrow suggestively.

  He placed his knife and fork across his now empty plate.

  “You ordering dessert?” I asked, my voice a little breathy.

  “Hell no,” he said, staring at my mouth.

  “Wanna go?”

  “Hell yes.”

  He got Raymond’s attention and requested the bill. I worked my way through Matt’s last glass of wine, and when Raymond returned, Matt put his credit card in the waiter’s hand.

  “No, Matt, that’s not what we agreed on,” I protested.

  “Now, what kind of Valentine would I be if I didn’t pay for my girl?” he said, flashing his white-toothed smile.

  Raymond returned with Matt’s credit card slip. “This isn’t over,” I said, gesturing to the bill as he signed it.

  He stood up and held my chair out for me. “Whatever you say, Aubs.”

  As I turned around, I allowed myself one final glance at Daniel and Penny. They were eating their meals, chatting animatedly. Penny looked up as Matt rounded the corner of the table to place his hand gently on my lower back. She gave me a silent thumbs-up. I wanted to shout across the restaurant, telling her what she could do with that thumb. Before bending to that rather inappropriate compulsion, I moved quickly with Matt to reclaim our coats.

  The ride down in the elevator was uncomfortable. I don’t think Matt knew what to make of my be
havior. Hell, I didn’t even know what I was doing. I was buzzing, warmth spreading throughout my whole body. I wasn’t sure the wine was completely to blame.

  As we crossed the lobby to the revolving doors, Matt grabbed my hand like he’d done earlier. I squeezed it, and he rubbed his thumb along the top of my knuckles and smiled at me. Outside, we hailed a cab, and I was relieved to find that there was no vomit stench in this one. Matt gave the driver our address and leaned back in the seat, still holding my hand.

  My heart was flipping around, more in panic than anything else. What the hell was I doing? I couldn’t reason. I was tipsy, but I certainly wasn’t drunk. I was completely aware of what was happening, but some force was dragging me along and I felt powerless to fight it.

  Matt released my hand and brought his fingertips up to touch my cheek. Then he moved his face toward mine and kissed me tenderly. He pulled back to look at me, measuring my reaction. I closed my eyes and leaned into him, reciprocating his kiss with one of my own. It was sweet and lovely and gentle. He didn’t stick his tongue down my throat or throw me back against the seat of the car. He just pressed his lips warmly against mine, and then moved back to his side of the seat.

  We rode in silence like that, holding hands and gazing at each other from time to time. When we arrived back at Jackman, I pulled a twenty dollar bill from my purse and handed it to the driver. Matt helped me out of the cab, and we made our way upstairs. Inside the apartment, Matt flicked on a couple of lamps and helped me with my coat. He took off his suit jacket and draped it over the back of the chair before turning around and wrapping his arms around my waist. I put my arms around his neck and let him kiss me again, and this time he ran his tongue gently against my lips before tentatively sliding it in my mouth.

  Now, don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t carried away in a wave of passion or anything, but it was a nice kiss and it was pretty wonderful feeling him exploring my tongue with his. He finally broke away from me, his breathing shallow and restrained. He took me by the hand and led me into my bedroom, pulling me onto the bed with him.

  We kissed and he pressed himself against me, and there was something I never thought I’d feel—Matt’s erection. And it was rubbing against my thigh. Unbidden images of Daniel played behind my eyes. I imagined this was his mouth, his tongue, his body pressed hard against me. Matt groaned against my lips but pulled away quickly, leaning his forehead on mine and whispering, “Aubrey, what are we doing?”